Last Updated: January 23, 2024

Alcohol consumption is common in the United States. According to a report from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 62.8% of American adults drink within a given year. Furthermore, 48.7% reported drinking within the past month. For some people, however, alcohol consumption can become problematic. Knowing more about alcoholism and what to expect from someone who is struggling with alcohol misuse can help you learn how to confront an alcoholic.

Key Takeaways

• Recognize signs like inability to stop drinking, cravings and withdrawal symptoms as indicators for intervention.
• Approach a loved one with alcoholism compassionately and support them in seeking treatment.
• Plan discussions, stay positive and offer specific concerns to talk effectively with an alcoholic.
• Address common questions, set boundaries and focus on how their drinking affects you.
• Avoid name-calling, vague statements, arguing or convincing when discussing heavy drinking.
• Consider hosting a CRAFT intervention with professional help to encourage rehab participation and address enabling behaviors.

Signs It’s Time To Intervene 

Occasional or moderate alcohol consumption is typically safe and does not lead to adverse outcomes. However, when someone develops an alcohol use disorder (AUD), they are living with a legitimate medical condition that creates changes in the brain and makes it difficult to stop drinking, even in the face of serious consequences. If a loved one develops an AUD, it is likely time to intervene, especially if symptoms are severe.

There are common signs that point to an alcohol use disorder and suggest that someone needs intervention. These include:

• Being unable to stop drinking, even if they want to
• Having strong alcohol cravings (for example, wanting a drink first thing in the morning)
• Drinking larger quantities of alcohol than intended (for example, they state they are only having a few drinks but then drink to the point of intoxication)
• Continuing to drink even when it causes problems fulfilling duties at work or home
• Drinking despite relationship problems arising from drinking
• Developing a high tolerance for alcohol so they do not appear intoxicated even when drinking a seemingly large quantity 
• Showing withdrawal symptoms like tremors, headache, sweating or anxiety when not drinking
• Continuing to misuse alcohol even when it causes or worsens a health problem
• Consuming alcohol in dangerous situations, such as drinking and driving 
• Giving up other hobbies and interests in favor of alcohol abuse 

These signs suggest that someone has lost control of their drinking and is continuing to misuse alcohol even when it creates serious consequences. Someone unable to quit alcohol despite it causing serious problems in their life is likely in need of help to stop drinking.

These signs suggest that someone has lost control of their drinking and is continuing to abuse alcohol even when it creates serious consequences. Someone who is unable to quit alcohol despite it causing serious problems in their life is likely in need of help to stop drinking. 

How To Help an Alcoholic Spouse, Parent or Loved One

If a spouse, parent or other loved one in your life shows signs of alcoholism, guiding them toward treatment can help them to overcome the effects of alcohol addiction.

It can be stressful figuring out how to confront a loved one in your life who is struggling with alcoholism, and even more so if you live with this person. It is normal to be concerned about the dynamic in your home changing after you have confronted this person about their alcoholic tendencies. Letting this person know you are coming from a place of concern and compassion rather than judgment can be an important step in helping them reach out for help.

You may also encounter some pushback from someone who is in denial about their alcohol consumption. Or perhaps you’re dealing with a friend or family member who has relapsed. Either of these scenarios might require you to support your loved one in their next steps of treatment and recovery.

In a treatment program, they will receive medical support and intervention as they undergo alcohol withdrawal. They will also participate in services like counseling and support groups, which help them to address the underlying issues that led to alcoholism.

How to Talk to an Alcoholic

When you’re ready to talk to an alcoholic spouse or loved one about your concerns, it’s important to set yourself up for success. These tips can help you to have a more effective conversation:

• Have the conversation at a time when they will be able to hear what you’re saying — not when they’re under the influence. 
• Take some time to plan what you will say so you are calmer when having the conversation.
• Remain as positive as possible, and encourage them that change is possible.
• State specific concerns, such as, “I am worried because you have been missing work on days that you have been drinking.” 
• Identify how their drinking has negatively impacted you. For example, “When you drink alcohol and use aggressive language with me, it makes me scared and upset.”
• Use supportive language such as, “I want to help support you the best I can. What do you need from me?”
• Communicate to them that they have your support and you’re willing to work with them to get into treatment. 

Frequently Asked Questions on Confronting an Alcoholic

We have identified a few commonly asked questions that arise when considering how to confront someone with alcohol addiction.

How do you talk to an aggressive alcoholic?

If someone becomes aggressive when they consume alcohol, it is important to not confront them while they are under the influence of alcohol. Wait until this person is no longer showing signs of being drunk, and then approach them from a place of concern and compassion to discuss the negative impact of their alcohol consumption.

How do you talk to someone who won’t stop drinking?

If you have expressed your concerns about someone’s drinking and they continue to drink, you may have to draw boundaries around your interactions with them. Statements to support your boundaries might include: 

• I will not engage with you while you’re under the influence of alcohol.
• I will not allow you to drink alcohol while I’m around and will leave if you do.
• I will not go out to social occasions with you where you choose to drink alcohol.

How do I tell my partner to stop drinking so much?

When talking to your partner about their drinking, giving an ultimatum or specific demands might not work. Your partner is likely to feel attacked if you come from a place of aggression or frustration. While those feelings are valid, letting your partner know how their drinking has negatively impacted you and affects your relationship might have more impact and help them decide to cut back on their drinking.

7 Myths About Alcohol Rehab

These seven myths about alcohol rehab may come up during your conversation about treatment. Be ready to debunk them and get your loved one the help they need.

Things To Avoid When Confronting an Alcoholic

When you’re talking to someone about their drinking, there are also some things you should avoid doing. You may be angry or frustrated, but staying calm and approaching them from a place of care and concern is important. This means you should avoid:

• Name-calling or blaming
• Making vague statements like, “I’m so sick of your drinking!”
• Trying to convince them to seek help when they are intoxicated
• Arguing with them

Hosting an Intervention for Alcoholism 

Sometimes, it may be helpful to host an intervention for a loved one who has alcoholism. An intervention is a process in which family and loved ones come together to confront a person about their alcohol abuse. During an intervention, loved ones tell a person with alcoholism about their concerns and encourage the person to seek treatment.

Often, families work with a professional to help them carry out the intervention process. They begin by planning the intervention, including what they will say. Members of the intervention team often write a letter or prepare a script detailing the ways their loved one’s alcohol addiction has impacted them negatively. 

After solidifying the plan, an intervention is held, typically with a professional leading the conversation. Family members and friends come together, taking turns expressing their concerns and asking their loved one to accept help. Usually, the family has made arrangements for their loved one to immediately enter a treatment program after the intervention if they agree to do so.One particularly effective intervention model is the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) modality. Compared to other programs and intervention models, CRAFT has been found to be more effective for getting treatment-resistant individuals to engage in a rehab program. What is unique about the CRAFT model is that it not only helps a family encourage their loved one to get treatment — it also provides training to family members so they can change behaviors that may be enabling the loved one’s addiction.

How to Get an Alcoholic Help 

Ideally, concerned family members will be able to figure out how to help an alcoholic and get them to agree to seek treatment. In some instances, however, the alcoholic will continue to refuse treatment, which may necessitate involuntary routes of treatment entry. 

Involuntary Commitment for Alcoholism

Whether you can have someone involuntarily committed for alcoholism depends on where you live and the seriousness of their addiction. Currently, 35 states and the District of Columbia have involuntary commitment laws, including Ohio. These state that someone can be committed against their will for a substance use disorder or addiction if they meet certain criteria, such as: 

• Having a serious disability
• Presenting an immediate danger to themselves or others
• Being unable to care for themselves or make decisions

Civil Commitment in Ohio

Ohio law allows for someone to be civilly committed for treatment if there is proof that they have a mental illness such as alcoholism. They must also meet other criteria, such as presenting a risk of harm to self or others, being unable to care for themselves or requiring treatment to protect the rights of themselves or others. For your loved one to be civilly committed, you must file a petition with the court and be prepared to provide evidence that civil commitment is needed. 

Ohio’s Pink Slip Law

Ohio has a “Pink Slip Law” stating that certain professionals, such as police officers, physicians or psychologists, can take someone to a hospital against their will for emergency treatment. Once at the hospital, a physician provides an examination within 24 hours to determine whether the person requires ongoing care. A person can remain in the hospital against their will for three business days. After that time, the hospital must petition the court for civil commitment to keep a person in care. 

How To Support a Recovering Alcoholic

If a loved one has entered treatment and is in recovery from alcoholism, it’s important that you provide support and encouragement. Strategies for helping support a recovering alcoholic include: 

• Be willing to talk with them when they are experiencing stress or struggling with triggers or cravings for alcohol. 
• Understand that they probably will not be able to be around alcohol or people who are drinking, so inviting them out to drink or drinking around them is not appropriate. 
• Learn about alcohol use disorder so you have a better understanding of your loved one’s addiction and what they are experiencing. 

Finding Alcohol Addiction Treatment in Ohio

If you’re seeking alcohol addiction treatment for a loved one in the state of Ohio, The Recovery Village Columbus is centrally located and offers comprehensive alcohol addiction treatment services. Our services include medical detox, inpatient and outpatient rehab, partial hospitalization programming and aftercare support. Our inpatient rehab offers numerous amenities, including two gyms, an art studio, a computer lab and a recreation room. We also employ licensed and credentialed medical and clinical staff who are compassionate about providing patients with the highest quality of care possible.

Sources

• National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. “Alcohol Use in the United States: Age Groups and Demographics” 2023.  Accessed January 10, 2024.
• National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. “Understanding Alcohol Use Disorder.” April 2021. Accessed January 10, 2024.
• Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. “Alcohol Use: Conversation Starters.” December 2, 2021. Accessed January 10, 2024.
• Roozen, Hendrick G.; De Waart, Ranne; Van Der Kroft, Petra. “Community reinforcement and family train[…]iduals in treatment.” Addiction, October 2010. Accessed January 10, 2024.
• Lee, Katherine. “An underappreciated intervention.” American Psychological Association, December 2017. Accessed January 10, 2024.
• National Judicial Opioid Task Force. “Involuntary Commitment and Guardianship Laws for Persons with a Substance Use Disorder.” Accessed January 10, 2024.
• Disability Rights Ohio. “Civil Commitment: Understanding Your Rights.” April 2016. Accessed January 10, 2024.